When COVID-19 hit I felt my life slowly fade away. It was like I was falling through a deep hole and was never hitting the bottom. When I never got the experience of graduating elementary school and going onto sixth grade, it felt as if I was passed over,like an important part of my life was skipped. Now, I feel as if everyday is the same and I’m in this constant loop.
After I had the experience of finishing fifth grade online I wanted to start fresh. I was so excited to have a fresh slate, make new friends, and start a new chapter of my life. Then I found out over the summer that I was going to start 6th grade online. I didn’t have much emotion. I wasn’t happy or sad or mad. It was like I had a switch, and I was stuck on this version of myself where I didn’t show any emotion and I thought I was fine, but I never asked myself “am I really fine?”I was in a constant state of pushing myself to do well at school, but showing no expression or feelings about it. I was doing a really good job with my grades, straight A’s in all my classes, but my emotional component was still gone. At that time, it was hard to find a reason to do much of anything.
My friends started opening up their bubbles, having socially distant hangouts, eating dinner together in their backyards or skateboarding around the neighborhood. My family was still quarantined; we barely went outside if only to go on short walks. I always felt like we were the odd family out, with our family of three kids instead of two or one, having my Mom and Dad always changing their minds about moving to New York City and never meeting a family like mine before. I love my family and would never change them for the world, but now more than ever, I feel as if we don’t fit in Los Angeles. I feel as if living in New York City would give me a new perspective and will be good for everyone in my family. Since I never got a fresh slate, moving to New York City would be a whole new experience.